Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Willpower

Greeting my originalities,

Many apologies for not updating in the last few months. Been busy with many RL things such as school/work/art. If you want to know more check out my dA, livejournal, or webcomic progress blog. I've been wanting to post here but was so caught up with things that I didn't even think about this blog. Finally something just hit me and I had to post it up.

"Willpower is the strength of mind to carry out one's goals."
-   Sandy Anderson  

How many of you had to create your own willpower? I know I have to gather it everyday. Getting myself up, going to work, going to school, then back home and putting everything on repeat. It feels tiresome just to make sure I get things I need done, such as homework or other significant tasks. Let me also say I don't dislike my life, but sometimes, especially when I am in school I feel like things are dull and I do the same things again and again. I can say that the past few months have been off and on for this feeling but I try to spice it up once in awhile by hanging out with friends or splurging on myself although when you're born in one place and have grown up there all your life, it gets boring. 

"Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation."
-   John F. Kennedy

Sometimes I just want to draw but never touch a pencil or drawing pad and just want to skip school all together. I know school is important but sometimes I feel like I stress myself out too much to get good grades instead of living life to its fullest extent. It gets to the point where I need to pray to God for every ounce of willpower I have to just keep going....Nevertheless, I've been trying to think of my education as a way to develop my skills and abilities, despite my strong dislike for programming. Additionally, I was able to meet nice people and learn more than I'll probably admit about programming languages.Maybe in the distant future I'll be able to use what I learned to create something inspiring and noteworthy that can be beneficial for others.

"Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear."
-   Dan Millman 

That's when drawing and webcomics come in for me so I can get by with the boring parts of my life. I try to draw and create worlds that are more interesting to me, or I read manga or interact with like-minded people online to get a feeling of excitement. It's not that I don't enjoy meeting other people, I just feel a disconnectedness and sometimes I just don't feel like socializing. I know that makes me somewhat anti-social, which is not rare for me as I was always a quiet child. It's just that I feel that my family and friends don't always know how I feel. 

Apparently I have to make it obvious or actually verbalize how I feel. I assumed that everyone would be able to read my actions to tell how I feel, but that apparently is not the case. I sort of imagined that people would be more observant to each other but I now know that isn't quite true, so of course I've been gathering my willpower trying to speak out my thoughts for friends and family. Fortunately, I don't have to do any major changes to my life or personality, I just made a tweak on verbalizing what I wanted/liked or not. I feel like I shouldn't change who I am, just make changes on how other people see me by making my existence known to them. I just have to make my voice known.

Luckily, I feel this method is working. Family and friends are a little more keen to what I like or want, which isn't too much. I still try to draw and get creative when I want to feel somewhat excited. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in the darkest or not-so-dark moments of your life, to gather your willpower, give your life to God (or whatever deity you believe in), and overcome your problems. 

Even the littlest of changes can have a huge impact on your life and you as an individual. Trust your instinct and willpower to never change who truly you are but if a little change makes you a better person then it is probably worth considering.